No wonder the divorce rate is so high. Friendship doesn’t mean cheating. I have a friend that I share absolutely everything with–no holds barred–and she does the same with me. It isn’t an affair, it’s a friendship. It would be the same if she was a man. Sometimes situations put us together with others and sometimes they are of the opposite sex and friendship forms and we confide in them. This is not betrayal, it’s what friends do. Many years ago my husband talked with a woman at work and I knew about it. He told me about it and it seemed that they talked a lot. The day I met her she laughed and said ” it is so good to meet you. You are all he talks about. We all thought you walked on water”. She became my friend also. She was just one of those people with “good listening ears”. Sometimes instead of listening to Dr. Phil, people should just use good common sense. Bottom line is if you want to think your husband is cheating and if you want to ruin your marriage over it then go ahead, but don’t expect your next relationship to be any better.

it is cheating
some would even say it’s worse than physically cheating on your spouse

yes it is an emotional affair. i had to explain this to my wife as well. most people that is having an emotional affair would say thats not cheating. pull the info up online an show him what it an emotinal affair is. but him being a guy he will still denied it. an for those that do not know what an emotional affair is when your partner invest more time with a the opposite sex ( sometimes same sex). they tend to be secretive about it, lie to you about this person, an a change in behavoir toward you but overjoyed when this so call friend calls. look it up emotional affair 101. google it.

That’s cheating

An emotional affair is cheating, no matter what your husband says. It’s possible though that your husband is in denial. To him, it could be just a friendship. Perhaps they got too close, shared too much private information and stories that made their once platonic friendship qualify as an emotional affair. But then again, your husband may still not be ready to admit that he has let their friendship become an emotional affair. Or maybe he just doesn’t consider anything less than sex as cheating, as some of the posters here do. But yes, it is cheating. As to what to do, if you love him and want to work things out, you should have a heart to heart talk with him. Maybe go into therapy if necessary. The important thing is to make him understand what an emotional affair is and why his friendship with his co-worker qualifies as much and moreover, why the same bothers you. Understanding is key. Understanding through communication.I wish you well.

You are clearly feeling hurt and insecure and I’m so sorry to hear that.
However, I think you are allowing yourself to get very worked up and upset unnecessarily.
You are the one claiming he had an “emotional affair”.
He is, in fact, quite clear about this, he does not believe it was.
I don’t think he did anything wrong. I think he had a friendship with a co-worker who happened to be female, and I think that for some reason that bothered you.
But married people need to be able to have friends, of both sexes, to be healthy individuals within the marriage partnership.
Actually, I don’t believe in the concept of an “emotional affair”. If he was sharing thoughts and feelings with her and spending time together, he was having a “friendship”. Please try to understand that and not be insecure about it. He did not cheat on you. Don’t make the situation out to be any worse than it needs to be.

This is the first time I have everd heard of an “emotional affair” had never heard that term before,,,does it mean that he has love feelings for a co-worker?..

I’ve been in the same position as your husband. There is probably a reason, and that is that he’s not happy in the bedroom. You need to put out more.

Men tend to not believe that an emotional affair is cheating because sex is what matters to them.
You could probably talk to a guy a lot and he woudn’t care as much.
But yes, it is cheating.
I would recommend trying to be there for your husband though rather than harping on him. He obviously needed somebody to talk to, so begin to be that person.
Try to forgive so your relationship can move on.
EDIT: Just to prove my point I read your question to my fiance and he said that he doesn’t think there are emotional affairs, and it sounds like your husband just had a friendship.

what is an emotional affair?

If your husband was having an emotional affair with a coworker….then he was cheating…Trust your instincts…we have them for a reason…Your husband doesn’t sound like he wants to accept blame for anything…
EDIT Women tend to believe emotional affairs are worst than physical affairs because emotions and feelings are involved…..They are also more likely to forgive an affair that was based solely on sex…

I think yes.
So does he still want to work on the marriage and re-connect? Are you ok with that? Can you trust him? Do you know why it slipped away in first place and does he? Can you fix this?
A psychologist could help bring some of this into the light. And you are right – yes he could be lying to you. I don’t know how you get proof. Do you need it? Do you want to know and would it change things? ie: if sex involved would you end it for sure?

emotional affairs involve love. so its cheating and deeper than just pure physical.

He doesn’t believe he had an emotional affair? What evidence do you have?

Yeah he had an emotional affair. If you think thats cheating then it is. Express that to him so he understands. If he has sex with another person, thats cheating. Why cant there be emotional cheating? He probably doesnt understand how much that hurt you. Talk to him more about it. Get to the route of the problem.

If he’s not seeing her or keeping in touch with her any more then you’re fine. No need to worry. He had a crush on someone and he didn’t act on it because he cares about you. Why are you torturing yourself? He’s just human. It can happen to anyone.

Your husband was honest and informed you of his thoughts. We all have some not so innocent thoughts now and then. It adds a little spark when we need it. It is just thoughts, as long as they are not acted out.

If he invested time in the other woman, sex or not, he is a cheater because he cheated you out of the best of him.
Dump the loser.

Emotional affairs are fantasy. Invented to cover insecurity issues. Those therapists must be real wh0res.

What exactly is an emotional affair? I have friends at work of the opposite sex, you could say are emotional with limits. I have never been to their house or met there kids but we talk. In fact I have never left the office with these people.

An emotional affair is still cheating however I would seriously doubt that that’s all it was. It sounds like he’s feeling guilty about what he did and just doesn’t want to tell you all of the details for fear that you’ll leave him.

What is an emotional affair, something to terrorize your imagination?
Last I checked, an affair was when you had sex often with a boyfriend/girlfriend and you still kept going home to the first one and kept lying about it, trying to cover it up.
An affair is a physical thing, not some imaginary phantom thing you create in your mind to make yourself paranoid and insecure.